Just the Way You Are

I'm sure you've all heard this song by now, but I just wanted to point out how great I think it is!



It's nice to hear a song that doesn't just refer to women as "sexy" or "hot." And it's especially great to hear a song that tells girls they're "amazing, just they way [they] are!"

Bruno Mars (the singer) also points out a problem that, unfortunately, is way too prevalent in our culture. He says:

Yeah I know, I know
When I compliment her
She wont believe me
And its so, its so
Sad to think she don't see what I see

How many times do we do this? Do you ever find yourself brushing off compliments? When people tell you, Your hair looks great! do you say, "Thanks!" or do you answer with "You really think so? My hair looks awful today! I didn't have any time to do it, so I just threw it up!"  I know I do this, and I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one.
It is sad that so many girls don't "see what others see." We are so busy critiquing ourselves that we don't believe it when other people compliment our appearances. I know I fall into this trap on a regular basis! The truth is that other people don't notice that tiny zit I've been freaking out about or the bags under my eyes or that I don't think I look "as good as usual." We are way more critical of our own appearances than others are!
So let's all try a little harder to remember:

Girl you're amazing
Just the way you are

You know what I'm going to do? This next week, I'm going to try and catch myself every time I think a critical thought. And when I do, I'm going to play that refrain in my head. Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are. Maybe I'll even change "girl" to "Kell" to make it a little more personal.
Cause Kell you're amazing, just the way you are.

And so are you.

Try it with me?
Please? :)

--Kelli

Complimentary, part 2

Okay...well, it's a bit more than a week later.
Erm....
Sorry. :\

So, for one week, I tried to go without complimenting anyone on their appearance.

It was HARD!

I never realized just how often I praise people on appearance-based things. Often times, I’m not even complimenting them as a person; I’m telling them how much I like their boots or their necklace. I actually did a pretty good job about refraining from giving these types of compliments, but there were a couple times when I slipped up. I like to compliment people, but I didn’t realize how shallow most of my compliments are!

During the week, I also became more aware of how often people compliment me on appearance-based things. I found myself really wishing that someone would tell me, “Kelli, you’re such a great dancer!” or “Kelli, you are just the kindest person I know!” I actually felt kind of disappointed when people told me things like “Your hair is really cute!” because I was working so hard to notice more important traits. During the whole week, I don’t recall getting anything but appearance-based compliments. Once or twice I even had a silly thought...Isn't there anything about me that people like? Or do they just like my outfits?

It was very interesting to notice how many appearance-based compliments were flying around. I think we commend each other’s appearances so often because it’s so easy. We all like to make others feel good, but it seems that we don’t like to put too much effort into thinking of something to say. It was actually challenging to find ways to compliment people--I really had to delve into their personality and find something I admired about them. Even though it wasn’t easy, I think that it was an extremely good experience.

Two very good things that came out of this challenge:

1. I found myself appreciating people more.

2. I made people smile--and they weren't just "Oh, thanks, I got it at Nordstrom" smiles. They were genuine "Wow, thanks! You seriously just made my day" smiles.

Try it out. I dare you. :)

--Kelli