Complimentary

After a very long absence, I'm back!

I really do apologize. I have so much going on that it's a wonder I can upkeep even one blog!
If you haven't checked out my other blog, do! I post pretty regularly and I like to think that I have interesting things to say :)

I'm planning on posting more frequently here as well! I've been thinking a lot recently about the topics this blog is centered around. So...hold me to it :) If I don't start posting, get on my case!

Anyways, my favorite class this semester is my Psychology of Gender class. I really wasn't too excited about taking this required course, but I love it! I am learning so much. And, my teacher feels very strongly about a lot of the same issues I do (e.g. sexualization in the media), so we have a lot of really great discussions about them.

In fact, this week we watched a clip from the movie "Reviving Ophelia," which is based on a book of the same name. In the film, the book's author (Mary Pipher) gave some suggestions of ways that we can help girls understand that they have worth which extends beyond their physical appearance. One of the suggestions that she gave to boys in particular was to compliment girls on things other than appearance.

So, our teacher gave us this assignment: for a week, we need to refrain from making any appearance-based compliments! She told us that whenever we feel like complimenting someone on the way they look, we need to stop and compliment them on something else. At the same time, she asked us not to abstain from giving compliments because we're only used to commenting on others' appearances; she wants us to focus on praising people for things that are lasting, such as their character traits.

I've only been doing it for two days so far, and boy...it's hard!

I realized that I give out a lot of appearance-based compliments. I kept having to stop myself from saying things like "You look so cute!" or "I love your outfit!" And, I'll admit--I did slip up and compliment one girl on her appearance at work yesterday (don't tell!).

Here's my challenge to you: try it with me! See if you can go for a week without complimenting people on their appearance. Really make an effort to compliment them on other things. So far, I've praised people on their cheerfulness, dancing abilities, kindness, and ability to put together great outfits (Okay...that last one is kind of pushing it! But her outfit was just too CUTE! I had to say something!)

So...can you do it? I promise, it's harder than it looks! :)
At the end of the week, I'll tell you about my experiences. Take the challenge--I'd love to hear how it goes!

--Kelli

What is beauty?

I am constantly bombarded with other people's answers to this question. Everywhere I look, it seems like someone else is telling me how I should dress, act, cut my hair, do my makeup...
In other words, I am frequently being told what beauty is and what I need to do to fit the standard.
And I know I'm not the only one.

This happens to every one of us every single day. It seems like we can't escape it--whether we're turning on the TV, flipping through a magazine, logging onto Facebook, or even just walking down the street, we are assailed with images of what the world wants us to view as beautiful. In fact, we are subjected to over 3,000 advertisements a day, 90% of which are sexualized images portraying the bodies of women in some form. These ads endorse a narrow and unrealistic standard of physical beauty while conveying the message that a person's value comes only from his or her sexual appeal, even to the exclusion of other characteristics.
What does this mean to the nation's girls? More and more girls, especially those ages 8-17, are developing low self-esteem. Seven in ten girls believe they are not good enough or do not measure up in some way, and many admit that it is hard to do well in school when they don't feel good about the way they look. Seventy-five percent of girls with low self-esteem reported engaging in unhealthy activities such as disordered eating, cutting, smoking, or drinking.

It is disheartening to realize what many girls in this country are going through. That's why I intend to focus on educating girls and their families about the importance of cultivating self-esteem by helping them embrace their own beauty and adopt positive attitudes about their bodies.

My name is Kelli Dougal, and I am Miss Carbon County Utah 2010. Basically, I am a titleholder at the local level of the Miss America pageant. For those of you who aren't familiar with the Miss America Organization, each contestant has a platform that she focuses on during the year of her reign. My platform is entitled Redefining Beauty, and it focuses on promoting self-esteem and self-acceptance.
This problem is huge, and it affects a lot more people than just the girls in Carbon County. So, I decided to make a blog in order to reach out to people everywhere dealing with these issues.

My blog is going to be divided up into three parts:
1) Media stereotypes and the negative impact of sexualization on girls
2) Helping girls build self-esteem and self-acceptance
3) Guides for parents to help their daughters

Well, that's the plan. This blog is going to be a work in progress and I plan on having regular updates. I hope you'll be able to realize why this issue is so important to me and that I can help you understand how it affects you in your own life. I also hope that something I say will strike a chord with you--if I can help even just one girl to see herself in a new light, then I consider that a success.

Kelli